After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
