How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
