home. puking in laundry basket.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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