I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
