my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
