Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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