Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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