I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
