I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
