I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
