Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
