Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Houston, we have a blender
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
