Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
