This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
