I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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