we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if only i could text you this smell
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
