Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
