apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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