He uses pillows to masturbate.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
