I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
