An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
