I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
