Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
