We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize