Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
