i permit you to call me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
