That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
