Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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