lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
