i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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