i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got inside last night via doggy door
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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