pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
