Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize