found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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