i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
