Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize