Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
