i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
