i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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