WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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