why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
