Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
