Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
