I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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