Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
