Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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