bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize