I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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