I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that's an acceptable place to lick
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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