So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it glows. i had to have it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
