Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
