READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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