Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
