She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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