ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
