i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You can't motorboat a personality
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
