He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
is it fun? or sober?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
