this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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