You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
