she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
