update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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