Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
