Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
