how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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