I wanna bring you to show and tell
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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